Brought to you this week by Schmitt’s Gay! If you like light beer and you’re gay…
Sadly, this version does not have the original music, which I thought added a lot to the humor. You’ll just have to use your imagination.
Fight 1: Schrutebag vs. Kim Cowherd
From Larry Stewart of the LA Times (via The Big Lead’s Roundup):
“ESPN Radio talk show host Colin Cowherd announced on the air Thursday that he and his wife of 11 years, Kim, are getting a divorce. They have two children, a 7-year-old daughter and a 1-year-old son. Cowherd indicated the separation is amicable.”
I’ve been listening to Schrutebag’s podcasts in the car recently simply because I cannot believe the level of obnoxiousness that purveys throughout his show. But, announcing your divorce on the radio when you’re a D+ List celeb at best seems to take it to a new level. This did not have to be public. Also, I’ve noticed an increased stream of bitterness towards women (for example, on Wednesday Cowherd waxed poetic about how women can’t drive or manage money). Now, it makes sense.
I wish the best to the family (particularly the kids) because divorce is never easy, especially unnecessarily in the public eye. I think it would an understatement to say that you have the support of the Blogosphere, Kim.
Loser: the kids. Your Dad is Schrutebag, plus you have to deal with this divorce at a young age.
Fight 2: LeBron James vs. The Detroit Pistons, Referees and Unselfishness (Handicap match)
I don’t feel bad for LeBron, but you have to admit the odds are stacked against him. First, the Detroit Pistons are a pretty good team despite the way they’ve played in the first 2 games. Next he must contend with the refs. Due to last year’s D-Wade touch foul debacle in the Finals, officials are calling the games by “prison rules” in the last minute. Which means he’s not going to get the superstar calls he and his coach would expect.
Lastly, LeBron has to fight his toughest opponent yet: unselfishness. But in true WWF fashion, unselfishness swerves and will actually help LeBron win this fight in the end. His pass to Donyell Marshall in Game 1 was the right decision, anyone that has ever played basketball should know that (he was wide open!). Especially those that bemoan the 1-on-1 aspect of the NBA. Passing does not equal deferring leadership or responsibility. At the end of the day, he’s responsible for the Cavs no matter what he chooses to do because the ball will always be in his hands at crunch time.
Unfortunately, anything LeBron gains by having unselfishness as his ally won’t matter because the odds are still too overwhelming. The saddest part about this match is that LeBron could’ve had a partner or two, but it appears the front office is making little effort to help him out. Until they do, he’ll lose this fight for another year.
Winner: The Detroit Pistons after Rasheed Wallace hits him with the championship belt and Chauncey Billups pins him in the middle of the ring. The refs thought it was clean.
Loser: The viewing public.