Posted by: Lunchbox | June 1, 2007

Shallow Thoughs on Casual Friday vol. II

Many of you may already be aware of this, but a buddy of mine just brought this to my attention in the last few days. ESPN Classic has reruns of American Gladiators every night at 10pm (on the West coast)! When I tuned it in, my girlfriend could not have been less excited. No worries though, because I would not deterred in my nostalgic experience of testosterone and well manicured coiffures.

Humor me while I reminisce…

  • My favorite event always was “Assault” where the contender tries to hit a target with an assortment of shitty weapons while the Gladiator fires a tennis ball cannon at them from upon high. “Human Cannonball” was a close second for me.
  • Everyone is familiar with the work of Mike Adamle on the show. But did you know that Joe Theismann (?!) was his co-announcer during the first season of AG? Why didn’t Kornheiser EVER bring that up in the booth on Monday Night Football last year? It would have been the perfect argument-ending punctuation that is needed to quiet One-legged Joe. I imagine it was one of Theismann’s contract stipulations that all members of the booth were barred from broaching the touchy subject.
  • The Gladiators were something else, weren’t they? Big, brawny (the women too), and cocky as a Billy Zabka character. The best attributes of the Gladiators was their genuine disappointment when they failed in a challenge. I like to assume they trained for these events every day. When some goofy weekend warrior with a high fade knocked them off the Joust platform, they got pissed and would come at the guy with a little something extra during Powerball.
  • Every season The Eliminator was reborn. It started out pretty hokey, looking like it was made from cardboard, styrofoam and paint. By the final season they had reverse treadmills, custom-made hand bikes, and the gauntlet.
  • Without a doubt, Gemini was the best Gladiator. I don’t care what you say.

It’s impossible not to wonder where they are now. But I try not to think of that. I like to think of them frozen in time in their red, white, and blue unitards.


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