Posted by: Jon Pyle | June 27, 2007

Superior Movie Quote Theatre

Movie quotes, along with commercial slogans and song lyrics, have started to evolve into a tribal dialect amongst people in the coveted 18-40 age bracket. Men, in particular, have displayed a fondness for speaking the langauge I refer to as Popculturese. So much so, that they look to display their grasp of the language in any group setting. But like many foreign languages, most people in America still aren’t fluent despite their half-ass attempts to master the language. There are thousands of people each day that think to themselves “my Borat impression was spot-on, so why isn’t anyone laughing?” In fact, the World Health Organization reports that popculturese has surpassed European Spanish (with their soft “c”), Cantonese, various African dialects (the clicking language, often represented as ! in writing), and poetry as the most commonly misspoken language in the world.

Friends, you will stuggle with your popculturese no longer! In fact, you don’t even have to watch different movies or open yourself up to anything more sophisticated to improve your linguistic skills.  That right! You must be thinking to yourself “watch the same ol’ movies AND speak better popculturese? What’s the catch?”

No catch! Just better ability to integrate movie quotes, the foundation of any good popculturese education, into your everyday lives. The program can be purchased with 3 easy installment payments of $49.99. But to show you how powerful this program is, I’ll give you a free sample:

“Boogie Nights”

Over-quoted lines: “I’m ready to shoot, Jack”, “Oh, you think so Doctor?”, the name Dirk Diggler, “You’re not the King of me!”

Better quotes and their usage:

1. “Chocolate love, 100%”- best used in response to the question “What’s your style?” or any question regarding your image or look. To avoid waiting for a question about your style, just insert “You know my style…” to the beginning. This is even funnier if you’re white. The paler, the better.

Example- Friend A: “That’s a nice shirt”

You: “You know my style, chocolate love, 100%.”

2. “I have good things that you don’t know about!”- for maximum effectiveness this must be screamed hysterically in response to someone questioning your worth or ability in anything.

Example- Madden Opponent A: “You suck, dude” (after scoring a TD)

You (standing up and screaming): “I have good things that you don’t know about!”

For extra street cred, memorize Mark Wahlberg’s entire monolgue.

3. “Okay, now you’re talking above my head. I don’t know all of this industry jargon, YP, MP.”- you can use this whenever anyone is talking about work or something specific that you don’t understand, but it’s most effective when it’s used ironically. Especially when someone asks you an obvious question. Also, substitute “YP, MP” for the phrase in question and make it your own.

Example- Music afficionado A: “Have you ever heard of the Killers?”

You: “Okay, now you’re talking above my head. I don’t know all of this industry jargon, the Killers, U2, the Red Hot Chili Peppers.”

That concludes your free preview. Just send me an e-mail or leave your payment information in the comments to purchase the whole set.

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Responses

  1. You’ve got the touch…You’ve got the fire…

    Feel, feel, feel ,feel, feel…feel my heeeeaat…feel my heat

  2. There are a good number of quotes that should get honorable mention and these songs are awesome. Perhaps I’ll add them later.

  3. Most of the quotes I like can’t be printed…

    Still… I find that any time you’re not sure what to say, just throw out:
    “You know, people tell me I kind of look like Han Solo. “

  4. When I meet people that I don’t care about, and am mad about having to meet them, I throw out the:

    How much do you squat?

  5. I do not want to sign up for the class, but I would like to teach a correspondence course.


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